Never Too Late
by JadeHeartOfFire
Summary: Title a famous song? Check. Main characters total Sues that all the guys love? Check. Boring plot? Check. Awful grammar? Checkity-check. Huston, we have a Harry Potter fanfic.
1. Bring Me 2 Life

AN: Before I begin, I would like to make myself perfectly clear. This is a parody. The goal of this fic to make fun of all the Mary Sues in the Harry Potter fandom by transforming my three Harry Potter OCs into total Sues. Then I'll write about them in some sort of stupid form of prose that only exists in fandom world. In case you can't tell, this takes place during the time of the first book. Hope you enjoy the idiocy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I own Antoinette, Lydia and Mackenzie, but day have been given makeovers then beaten with a spiky club to significantly lower their IQs and destroy their personalities for the purpose of this fic. You have been warned.

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Hi! Mi nam is antoinette anderson but all my freinds call me Nettie and i get mad wen ppl call me antoinett so dont or ill brake ur neck. I hav longe dark blonde hare that falls 2 my mid back and gleamin silver eyes that shin in da lite and i got big boobs fo my age. im 11 yers old and am startin at hogwarts scooll dis year. rite nwo im on a tran goin der wit mah best freids Lydia miller and mackenzie Urutia.

"So nettie, u fuking redy for Hogwrts?" lydia asked exitedly

"Ya of corse I am bitch. How about u, Mac?" I said grinnin.

"I just hop dar r hot fuking guys at Howgorts!" Mackenzei laffed.

suddenly, a hot boi wit blonde hare waked past our cabbin and waked in and sat next 2 me.

"Hello ladys" he said hotly

"hi" we all siad.

"wat da hell iz ur name?" i asked.

"draco" he leened bak

"im Nettie" i said flirtily

"im lydia!" Lydia shooted

"im Mackenzie" mackenzie said shyly

"Nettie? Iz dat short for somethin?" draco turned 2 me

"ya. My ful name is fuking anntoinette." i blushd

"Dats a pretty name." he smiled hotly.

lydia and makcenzie looked relly jelous of me cause of da hot guy dat I was flirtinn wit. I was hppy.

"r u a fist year, Draco?" lydia asked

"Ya, im a fuking first year" he said

"us 2!" makenzi said

it waz quiet 4 a minuet. Den draco turned 2 me.

"hey nettie, cum wif me." he stood and grabed my hand.

I folowed him to da back of da tran and he pressed his lisp 2 mine. i blushed.

"see ya l8r" he grined and waked off.

I cursed as da tran stooped and we had 2 get off and get on dis bote dat took us 2 a big castle. i sat wif lydia and mackenzei.

"Y da fuk did u ditch us bitch?!" Lydia sonded mad

"cause draco wuz hot" i said

"ur luky ur so fuking pretty, Nettie" mackeznei said

"u guys forgive me?" I asked

"Ya." ldyia and Mackenzei smild

We huged. soon we got in da catsle and had 2 line up 2 b sorted.

"i am profeser Dumbeldor. welcum back." a old man said 2 da big room. he mad a looooooong speech then he bout out an old hat to sort dem into houses.

"let da sortin begin!" he shooted

we gasped then, cause da hat bust into song. After he sang da song, evey one claped. a women cam out wit a scool and startd to read fromit.

"Abbot, Hannah!" she shoted

a ugly gurl wif blode pigtales put da hat on

"HUFLEPUF!!!" da hat yeelled.

Da girl sat wit da hufflpufs.

"Anderson, Antoinette!"

i wnet up and put da hat on my hed.

the hat was thinking and it wss thinking "oh yes you are brve and clevr and cunnning and also loyal you will fit into all houses, but Iwill pick slythering for you as you have bes piotentia der"

"k" i siad.

"SLITHIRIN!!!" it yeelid

i grined and sat wit da slythiring kids. a few smilded at me. a few mor kids wnet. Draco wuz also in slithirin n he sat acrss from me at da table.

"Miller, Lydia!"

lyida put da hot on an 2 min l8r da hat yeled "SLYTHIRING!!!"

i claped n ldya huggd me wen she sat don.

a few kids l8r an the women said "Urutia, Mackenzie!"

makenzie put da hat on her hed an a min later it said "GRIFINDER!!!"

makenzi sturted 2 cry. wen she sat don, she put her fac in her hands n didnt ate anyting da res of da nite.

"i new shw waz a loser." lydia sneared.

i laffed.

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AN: And so starts an epic story of love, betrayal and of course, epic sueness. By the way, originally, Antoinette and Lydia were supposed to be in Ravenclaw while Mackenzie landed in Hufflepuff, but I figured Slytherin and Gryffindor were more cliché. I sincerely hope you enjoyed my parody so far, and expect to see more soon!


	2. In Da End

AN: Welcome to the second chapter of "Never Too Late". After reading other Sue fanfics, I found some more ways to make this story suck. This chapter contains describing outfits in minuet detail, Muggle pop culture references, and Antoinette being good at everything. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. It belongs to J. K. Rowling (who, by the way, is one hundred times better than Stephanie Meyer.).

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da netx moring i wok up in my bed. Lydia wok up and sayed good morneig to me and opened her seaa green eyes and shok out her short blakc har. we bot got dressd. i put on purpl pinshripe pants that cam down to abov my ankls, a whit shirt wit a blak hart on it, a purple vest, an dakr red sneekers. I put my har in messy pigtals and tiyed them wit purpel ribbin like miku frm vocilod. Lyida put on a a blu top that tyed on da side and had onlyy one sleev, a lether mini skirt, blak and blu fishnest, and black boots. her har was 2 short to put up so she brushd it to da sid. she an i walked in 2 da hall, saing hi to sum of da cool lookin kids and flipin off da losers. we wer hungry so we wnt to da grate hall for brakeffast. we sat by orselves, cuse ever1 else wuz a looser.

"so nettie, wat r we doin 2day?" ldya asked.

"Idk." i sayed.

mackenise waked ovr to our tabel and asked if she coud sit wit us. Lydia and me laffed.

"no wai, u looser!" ldia said.

"ya, go sit wif ur looser freinds." i sad.

Mackenze ran awy, crieing. a grope of da oldr gilrs walked ovr to our tabel.

"hey gais, fall Out Boy iz havin a concrt 2nite in Hogsmeade." one girl said "you wanna go with us?"

"Yeah!" we both said. FOB waz awesome.

"Kay. meat us by da front door at nine 2nite." she said, and walked off wit her grope.,

ldyia and I wer excited da rest of da day. in all da classes, it truns out I waz relly goo at it. Lydia had 2 keep askin me for halp. finally, it waz tyme for da concert. we both went back 2 our room and changed our close. I put on a dark blue baby tee that said fall Out Boy on it, black skater pants, black flats, and a black sweatshirt. Ldiya put on a tight black shirt dat said Simple Plan (since day would be da opneing act), red short shorts, black high heeled boots, and a bigg red swatshit. We went 2 da front door and met tha oter grils. Tge olderst one, a forh year, poofed us all 2 da concert. In da mosh pit, we danced as Patrick Stump sagn.

"_Is this more than you bargained for yet__  
__Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet__  
__Wishing to be the friction in your jeans__  
__Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him__  
__I'm just a notch in your bedpost__  
__But you're just a line in a song" _he sang.

"isnt he hott?!" ldia screamed.

"Nah." I said

Lydia laffed and we both keeped dancing.

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AN: Sorry this chapter was shorter than the first one, but since school just started, either my chapters will be shorter, or the updates with be even farther apart….


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